Tell Me a Story Adult Alternative

Started by ItsaVerb, © All Rights Reserved 2017

   
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Tell Me A Story-Vocal Mix Uploaded 3yr+1mo ago by MrJinx68



Mix   Idea   audio/mpeg   8.87 MB   Engineering-Scratch Demo   22 Plays   1 Downloads View  

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MrJinx68   commented 3yr+1mo ago


Bernie, Truly enjoyed this uploaded tune. Had me a bit perplexed at first, as the arrangement order seems almost backwards, (i.e. Chorus-->Segway/Bridge-->Verse(?)), I dunno....let me know what you think; if this is the direction you were looking for. This is my first pass & what I heard in my head when listening to it for the fist time. Mix Notes-I found the drums to be VERY present & up front, competing with the vocal for space, and the guitars to be a little too far back in the mix, (my opinion only). Any and all feedback, (positive & negative), is always greatly appreciated. Again, outstanding tune with great, (although difficult), changes. Here are the lyrics I come up with so far: Intro Verse Tell me a story... Tell me a truth I never knew. Tell me in secret all the dreams you hold as true. We can scream from the mountains... Our troubles & our pains. Walk down to the riverside & drown our fears away. Tell me a story... Verse(?) A heart holds nothing...if not for love, it's empty & cold, And memories fade as we grow old. We build up fences of concrete and barbed wire to shield us from hurt, but we may well lose our fire... Segway/Bridge(?) We've all been hurt, and we may hold the anger. But somehow we've got to let it go...(we've got to let it go...) So share your pain with me...I just want you to... Tell me a story... Tell me a truth I never knew. Tell me in secret all the dreams you hold as true. Best Regards, Louis

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ItsaVerb   commented 3yr+1mo ago


Hi there Louis/MrJinx! (I wonder if the 68 in your user name indicates we are very close to the same age... hehe) Thanks for the kind words and the vocal take. I think it's GREAT! I think it suits the music well and I really like your voice! I would definitely go this route. This is one of a few tunes I had completed with my own lyrics and vocs, and like the others, I un-mixed it so it could be re-imagined and re-performed by Kompoz folks. I monkeyed with the MIDI snare drum and really screwed it up, lol. The original sounded quite realistic, but oh well--this version is NOT a mix by any means, so I agree completely with your assessment on the imbalance of sounds. I pulled back effects and stuff to try to make all the parts a bit more obvious. I hope to get a new drum and bass track for it just to change it up more. You decoded the song parts exactly right. It does start with the chorus progression (In my original version, there was vocal right on beat one, like what you did, but not the chorus, and the first heavy guitar part--the chorus--was only an instrumental intro). I like what you did with it. I'd call the section before the chorus a Pre-Chorus as there isn't really a bridge. The heavy part just after the guitar solo could function as that, though it's the same progression as the verse, it's got a lot more tension. I love the track you're on. Thank you for the contribution! This can definitely be the song. Be well! ~Bernie

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MrJinx68   commented 3yr+1mo ago


Hey Bernie, It's a great song, I just want to do it justice. As you've ok'd the direction, I'll continue to work out the lyrics & get the rest of a scratch down for you. Once you okay it all, I'll retrack as necessary with any notes you may have. Best Regards, Louis PS-Yes....68 is my birth year.😁

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xvpusw   commented 3 years ago


Wow... Yeah you have to finish this! P.S. 69 is divine!

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MrJinx68   commented 2yr+12mo ago


I'd really enjoy hearing the original as well if you still have the mix. Louis